Now that we've been living in Toronto for 3 months, I've been reflecting on my experiences so far and thinking about how I've dealt with the change. I remember learning about culture shock at uni, and while it didn't mean too much to me at the time, I find it quite fascinating now that I can actually relate to some of the stages. It's also very reassuring to know that my reactions are normal!
According to the theory, there are four distinct stages of cultural integration: Honeymoon, Culture shock, Adjustment and Mastery. The time spent in each stage is dependent on a number of factors such as the similarity of the home and host culture, how realistic your expectations of the new culture were, the level of social support available and your personal resilience in adapting to change. The transition looks a little something like this:
Honeymoon
This phase is just like being on holiday. It's fun to see all the different sights, hear a different accent, learn new terminologies, try different foods and buy different products. Everything seems new and exciting and even when things are confusing, they can be passed off as charming quirks that will later turn into funny anecdotes. When we first arrived, I found myself taking pictures of everything, because we were tourists exploring our new home. I carried my camera and passport everywhere for the first month as well as 'just-in-case' items that I don't normally have in my handbag (e.g. panadol and hand sanitiser). When this changed and I started travelling lighter, I realised I was more trusting of my environment and was becoming less of a tourist.
Culture shock
I've certainly experienced a degree of culture shock here. This stage is typified by feelings of stress and being overwhelmed by change. The novelty of the new environment starts to fade a little as you face daily challenges that test your patience. You're forced to confront reality as you go through the motions of setting up a new life: finding a place to live, getting a bank account, searching for a job, learning your way around the city and understanding the subway system.
The framework and rules that govern your day-to-day life have changed, so you start to feel like you might be tripped up at any moment. An example of this is that I keep forgetting to stay to the right when walking in crowds or on escalators, so I end up walking into people. It's such a small and trivial thing, but it's difficult to change because it's so ingrained in my subconscious mind to stick to the left. One morning I noticed that my phone battery was low, so without thinking I took my (Australian) phone charger to work and then felt very stupid when I couldn't plug it into a Canadian power socket.
The differences that you found amusing in the honeymoon phase start to become irritating and you question why they even exist. For example, cheques are still commonly used for banking in Canada, so we had to provide post-dated rental cheques to our landlord for the year ahead. This seems antiquated to us, as cheques are very rarely used in Australia. Also, Canada still has the 1 cent coin in place, so every time you receive change from a purchase, you end up with a handful of useless pennies. Coming from Australia, having a coin that is worth less than its own cost of production seems rather backwards!
Having to learn the most basic things again for the first time can leave you feeling frustrated, angry and sometimes embarrassed. For example, learning how to tip was a big change for us, so when I incorrectly entered a tip of 12 cents instead of 12 dollars into the eftpos reader at the hairdresser (yes, you have to tip when you get a haircut), and had to cancel and start the transaction again to the annoyance of the cashier, I felt like a bit of an idiot! Hell, eftpos isn't even called eftpos, it's called interac. And ATMs are often called ABMs (B for banking). It's this constant re-learning that is exhausting, as it feels like you can't take anything for granted.
The information overload causes you to start over-thinking things and second-guessing yourself as you search for hidden meanings and different interpretations in everything. At home, this processing is unconscious and automatic, so all the extra brain power required to deal with culture shock can be quite tiring. The lack of control can affect your self-confidence and cause you to assume that things will be more difficult than they actually are.
As if this weren't enough, you have to develop new ways of coping with the stress, as your tried-and-tested coping mechanisms (e.g. talking to friends and family, taking a long drive, having a decent cup of coffee) often aren't available.
Another interesting part of the culture shock stage is that you (often subconsciously) start to develop generalisations and stereotypes of locals. I guess this is just the human way of understanding a new culture and processing a lot of new information. For example, I found myself saying "Canadians are all so friendly and polite!" when I first arrived, because this described nearly everyone we encountered. They also all happened to be part of the hospitality, service or retail industries, so at least part of their pleasant demeanour was due to their job descriptions.
When I've felt pangs of homesickness, I've found myself clinging to familiar things - even to the point of downloading 'Land Down Under' by Men at Work, which is a song that I normally hate. Sometimes I think about how easy it would be to go back home to my comfort zone, but amidst the small irritations, I'm really glad that we made the move and I know there's still so much more to explore here before I'm ready to return.
Adjustment / recovery
Since finding work and developing a daily routine, I've felt much more at ease with small changes and new discoveries, as they seem easier to deal with in the grand scheme of things. The familiar elements in each day have helped to make me feel settled in to our new home. In general, things have started to make a bit more sense and the longer we're here, the more known quantities there are to rely on.
I wasn't really expecting to learn so much about myself this early on, but by being in a new culture, you quickly start to see yourself fall into the same patterns. You realise that while everything else around you is new and different, you're essentially the same person, with the same personality, strengths, weaknesses and ways of thinking that you had at home. It has a way of creating self-awareness of the things you usually attribute to your environment, or not think about at all.
While I'm still going through the motions of culture shock, I've begun to adjust in a number of ways too. I've learnt to relax a little and accept that I'm a newbie and am bound to get a few things wrong to begin with. I'm being more positive when I do encounter something new and I try to enjoy the experience rather than anticipate the worst. Now that I've met some locals at work, I'm enjoying sharing my culture with them and learning about Canadian culture on a deeper level. I'm trying not to define myself by the things that I used to at home (such as my career), as this is less realistic here. I feel more confident within myself now that I can bounce back from judgements, rejections or misunderstandings caused by being a foreigner.
I've realised that I need to be willing to adapt and to be open minded about new things. After all, there's really no right or wrong way of thinking or doing anything, just that which we are familiar with, and that which is new to us. We all have a tendency to view our own culture or way of doing things as better than anyone else's. By being aware of this, I can better understand my own reactions and those of other people. I try to acknowledge the positives of new things, or if I don't understand a situation, I try and give it the benefit of the doubt rather than evaluating things based on my own ideas, values and judgements.
I know there will be more challenges and more culture shock to come (one of the biggest changes for us will be the cold Canadian winter!), but I hope that I'll be able to deal with this positively and constructively.
Adaptation / mastery
They say this stage occurs when stability is reached and you have effectively assimilated with the host culture, while maintaining your own cultural identity. It will be interesting to reflect upon my experiences in another year and see how much things have changed. I expect I'll develop more resilience as a result of overcoming challenges and building new networks here.
Overall, I feel that we haven't had too much change to adjust to. For one thing, we arrived in the Summer which has made it easy to get outside and explore the city by foot. Plus the sunshine has a way of lifting your mood even if you're having a bad day. We've found people to be quite welcoming and accommodating to foreigners - perhaps this is due to the multicultural nature of the city. I've definitely noticed that people are a lot more polite and patient with us here than I experienced on my US trip last year. I guess it also helps being part of the Commonwealth, as things are not quite so American (e.g. temperatures are usually recorded in Celcius). So it feels like there are slightly fewer opportunities for misunderstandings (not to say that we haven't had our fair share of 'lost in translation' moments - trust me, we have!). Moving here with Shane has also made the transition much easier for me - I honestly can't imagine how I would have coped on my own. Lastly, knowing that this is a temporary adventure helps a lot, as I feel I need to make the most of the time we have here. I think it would feel very different if I knew that this was a permanent move.
P.S. This wasn't meant to be a psychology essay, but as I'm working into the wee hours of the morning, it does bring back many memories of pulling an all-nighter before the morning of an assignment deadline. Thank you for reading, and apologies for the lack of in-text citations.
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